Simple Marriage

That’s the name of a website I stumbled upon recently, courtesy of Private Practice Blogs. That day’s entry, “Beware of marital drift” caught my attention. Now, anyone that’s been married or in a longterm relationship can appreciate that title. And it’s not just a catchy title, it’s followed by a pithy post. Here’s a snippet:

In the last month, have you and your spouse:
Kissed passionately without making love?
Gone out on a date without friends or the kids?
Held hands?
Talked at length about something other than the kids, money, schedules, household needs or conflicts?
Done something special for each other?
Prayed together (other than at mealtime)?

The quiz continues in that vein, followed by sections “In the last 6 months have you” and “In the last year have you” and concludes by having you compute your “marital drift score”.

Maybe “marital drift” doesn’t grab you. How about today’s post: “Sex tips for the shy wife and the nice guy.”

Perhaps you’ve already familiar with the work of Dr. Corey Allan though his guest posts on self-help blog Zen Habits, or Zen Family Habits. I was intrigued enough by what I read to click on the About page, and found Dr. Allan’s approach to marriage and relationships to be interesting.

Marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. And when you keep things simple, you can experience more in marriage and life.

It seems like Simple Marriage is up to something, launching some kind of major project. So I’ll be returning from time to time to see what they’re up to.

What is psychotherapy: Part 3

Not a blame game.
Psychotherapy is not about complaining endlessly about past injuries. It is not about painting family members as cause of all our problems. It can be about understanding one’s perceptions of past and present events and how those perceptions color our views of our daily life. Some misunderstand psychotherapy as playing a blame game, not accepting responsibility. Quite the reverse, psychotherapy encourages us to examine and challenge our own perceptions (which may or may not resemble historical truth) of the past. It is important to examine perceptions, because it is our perceptions which shape how we perceive our current world, and inform our decision making and actions.

When solutions become problems.
Often the problems we bring to therapy represent our best solutions to our problems — but they are solutions that have stopped working, and in some cases have become new problems. Psychotherapy is an intervention to help us not repeat endlessly the same unproductive solutions.

And yes, originally posted some years back. There’s also a part 4, which you can find here. Links to the other entries in the series can be found under the “Psychotherapy?” tab near the top of the page, under the blurry illustration.