That’s the title of psychologist Paula Caplan’s article at the Psychology Today website.
But in dominant American culture, we want to race beyond the pain as fast as we can: Let’s get started right this minute on the coping and the healing. It is cruel to do so. Instead, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore of the Center for Grief and Trauma in her essay yesterday writes with her usual gentleness and sensitivity about what we can and ought to do instead. Rather than reprint her essay here, I urge everyone to read every word of it at http://drjoanne.blogspot.com/2012/12/no-words-for-such-tragedy.html It is meaningful and full of heart.
If you’re looking for some kind of reassurance or insight, the link might be helpful.